taking mediocrity to a whole new level

Friday, May 23, 2008

Locker Rooms

So I'm thinking that I'm going to write my next BlogHer post about locker room anxiety, but I need a little feedback. I think to some extent probably everyone has a bit of nervousness or anxiety about changing in a locker room, but I think there is added anxiety for gay people.

When I started playing hockey last fall, I was super nervous about having to change in a locker room full of women. More nervous about that than the fact that I couldn't skate and knew nothing about what in the hell I was supposed to be doing on the ice during a game. I have two major issues with the locker room. First, I have this fear that the other women will be uncomfortable with me being in there, and that they would think that I would take advantage of my being in there by spending my time checking them out. Which I would NEVER do. My other issue is that I developed far greater modesty about my body with respect to women than I did for men. I know this might not make any sense to some people, but I would be so much more comfortable changing in the men's locker room than I would in the women's. And I know that probably seems backwards logically to some, because I know that all the other women in the locker room are straight and I am not their sex of preference and of course they aren't looking at me in that way, while for the men I am, most likely, their sex of preference and some would probably be looking at me in that way, which for some reason wouldn't bother me because I don't care if they see me that way, but I still can't help feeling uncomfortable in the women's locker room. I would liken it to a straight women having to change in the men's locker room, or the straight men having to change in the women's locker room. Does this make any sense to any one else, or is this just some strange issue with me that I've over thought? And just to be clear, this is not a body image issue. I have no issues there, I'm probably a little too healthy in loving my body, if anything.

I had gotten more comfortable about the whole locker room thing until last week. When I started playing hockey, I didn't walk in and announce that I was gay. In fact I've never said that I was, in so much as I've never said "oh hey guys, by the way, I'm gay," but I don't hide it either. I always talk openly about Betty Please and I would think it should be pretty clear to everyone. But, last week one of the girls started talking about "the lesbians," in referring to a small group of girls who I don't know, and the tone in voice when she emphasised the lesbians, well she may as well have just said those fucking dykes. I was a little floored by this, and all I could do was say "so what is your issue with lesbians?" She started explaining, claiming that she has no issues with the fact that they are gay but that they segregate themselves from everyone else, blah, blah, blah. Unfortunately the conversation was interrupted and I didn't get to throw in my two cents. So, this person either is completely oblivious to the fact that I am gay, or she just doesn't care who she offends. I'm trying to decided if the next time I see her I should just point blank tell her that I'm gay, or if I should just let is go and wait for the day that I can introduce her to Betty Please, and just let her soak in it. I'm leaning towards not saying anything, but part of me just wants to say "you know I'm gay, right?" and see what she does. Anyway, it just took me back a bit.

So what do you guys think? Am I alone in this? Am I the only one who gets anxious having to change in a locker room, or you feel the same way about it? Or am I just fucking crazy? What?

And if you are one of the people from hockey feel free to comment, but please don't talk about this with others who are not privy to our blogs. I am not trying to turn this into a big thing, I hold nothing against this other person, in fact this person really has nothing to do with my real question, she just set me back in my comfort level in the locker room.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Friends don't let friends...

I keep hearing a commercial for our local frozen custard place, it's an institution in our town, and every time I hear it I laugh and think "who was the ad wizzard who came up with that?" The tag line for this commercial is "friends don't let friends lick alone." Now is just me, or is that just so wrong? Every time I hear it I laugh, and then I think about this ice cream place up in Alaska called Hot Licks. Check out the web site and tell me those cartoon ice cream cones don't look like dripping penises. Oh, and the awnings for that ice cream place in Alaska, at least the one in Denali and the one in Anchorage, have one of those cartoon dripping dicks, I mean dripping cones on them.

Monday, May 19, 2008

I feel Lu got gypped in the last post. So here's a picture with a full view of Lu, our calico kitty. She is the sweetest cat, but she drives crazy because she always wants to lay on us. And as you can see, she isn't a small cat.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Lazy Sunday

So this is the kind of perverse thing that happens at our place on a Sunday afternoon. Lucifur, Fin, and White Tornado are all laying on top of me. Disgusting isn't it? What you can't see, is that our other cat, Bo, is laying just above me on the top of the couch cushion, and Buddy Lee is on the floor just below me. I really don't know what it would be like to have the whole coach all to my self.

And just because the boy kitty is secretly my favorite, here's another picture of him being all cute and stuff.

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Mii Story

For anyone interested in reading the Mii story that I wouldn't tell, thanks a fucking lot Phollower you're a true friend for calling me out, Sylvia posted it on her blog. I think she acurately captured both sides.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

In Need of Cat's Grace

As I went to poke my head out the door to talk to the boss man this morning, the opening door caught the edge of my shoe and stopped dead just as I was stepping into the cracked opening. I stepped full force, nose first, smack into the edge of the door. HOLY CRAP did that hurt. As if it weren't bad enough that I have had a massive sinus headache all morning, my nose has been running non stop, and my allergies are out of control-driving me crazy, now my nose is throbbing from my injury. I don't think I can make it the rest of the day. I just can't.

It would be so nice if I knew a really high level cleric who could cast Cat's Grace on me every morning so I could avoid all such acts of klutziness.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Quote of the Day

"Well if that isn't like the granola bar calling the trail mix crunchy."

As you might guess, that was Betty Please's remark to something I said to Sylvia. We've been teasing each other about being crunchy ever since we took that 'what kind of dyke are you?' quiz. Admittedly, I am just a tad bit more sensitive to being labeled crunchy than Sylvia is. We are a ruthless bunch, so the fun never ends.